I’ve always wanted to talk about this topic ever since
I started blogging but always suspended it for some reason, now I feel it’s the
right time to talk about it. First, being self-fish doesn’t mean not giving and
all but has a lot to do with mannerism, the way you speak to/about others, your
attitude, character, sense of giving and understanding. We all have someone
selfish in our life which shall be unnamed but they are there. I know you are
sitting thinking who isn’t selfish because we are all selfish but to be
rational some people just have the tendency of making everything about them all
the time trust me. First, how do you identify a selfish person in your life, selfish
people don’t give into consideration about the other person needs.
They are callous people and have no respect whatsoever for the investment you put in the relationship. They are takers and never givers, they take and take from you, they are always there when they need you but the time you decide you need their help or need them they are MIA or claiming they have problems of their own. They expect you to be around when they are facing problems, heartbreak but when you need them during important time of your life they are literally nowhere to be found or off doing their thing.. Need I say more, these people can’t invest into the relationship money wise, advice wise, company wise they are just floating people, floating to where they need something and bouncing back when they get it.
They are callous people and have no respect whatsoever for the investment you put in the relationship. They are takers and never givers, they take and take from you, they are always there when they need you but the time you decide you need their help or need them they are MIA or claiming they have problems of their own. They expect you to be around when they are facing problems, heartbreak but when you need them during important time of your life they are literally nowhere to be found or off doing their thing.. Need I say more, these people can’t invest into the relationship money wise, advice wise, company wise they are just floating people, floating to where they need something and bouncing back when they get it.
How do you deal with people like these, someone said
to just cut them off or give them a dose of their own medicine, you can do that
but for me I sincerely do not have that time. I hand you over to God and let
Him do the punishment. When you are matured you need to strategize how to deal
with them because in some case you might be dealing with a narcissist.
1. ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE AND UNDERSTAND THEY HAVE NO REGARDS FOR OTHERS:
Accept that they
are self-centered and no matter what they will never put you into consideration
or put you first, no matter what you do for them. No matter the relationships
you have with them just realise they have no regards for your feelings or
welfare. They may have moments of generosity but I noticed that is only when
they feel guilty of the love you’ve shown to them, so they try to smartly give
in the little way they can but that’s just a trick on you to feel they care,
but to be real they simply lack the skill and willingness to be thoughtful..
Accepting who they really are gives you peace of mind not to ever expect
anything from them and to become less annoyed by their greedy attitude.
2. STOP
DOING FAVOURS FOR THEM THE MOMENT YOU FEEL DRAINED
Trust me, I’ve been
there and I’m talking out of experience. Just stop doing favors for them once
you feel like a doormat or especially when it ends up hurting you instead of you
feeling exhilarating, if you continue doing more favors thinking you are doing
good for the world then get ready to hurt yourself, I understand you want to be
tolerant but you can’t let them keep walking all over you, take your stand .Take
a break if you can’t stop doing favors for them I’d suggest you shift the favor
you do for them and do it for someone else entirely, a stranger or someone who
really need it. Remind yourself you are doing yourself a favor, mental health
is everything, because these kind of people always have a me-me attitude
nothing you do for them ever seems to please them.
3. PUT THEM IN THEIR SHOES
If you know me
personally, then you’d definitely know I like putting people in their shoes
when they exude a nasty, selfish behavior. Sometimes these people don’t realise
what they are really doing so it’s healthy to put them straight, notice when
it’s the right time to speak to them and by doing so politely make them
understand how they’d feel if what they do to others is done unto them.
Sometimes they need a reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
After setting them straight, politely of course and they make no effort to
change or feel remorse, take a huge step back, limit the time you spend with
them. He or she might be more than a self-centered person, they might be a
narcissist. These people are harder to deal with. Just let it go, or if
possible cut everything off for your delicate self.
4. TAKE
BREAKS FROM THIS PERSON/S WHEN NEED BE
If you’ve given
them too many chances and they still choose being selfish, just know that any
more of your efforts could be wasted. What do you do, protect your energy,
happiness and mental state by taking a break from this person, they won’t
understand but it’s necessary for you. Life is indeed short to
be dragged down by selfish people that suck your peace, joy and happiness.
5. DON’T
TAKE IT PERSONALLY
This is
what I always tell myself all the time, sometimes these people are battling
with them self, hate themselves or who knows that can be a way they function in life and don't see anything wrong with, their
coping mechanism i assume. They only see other people’s fault but are blind towards theirs. Remember selfish people don’t care about you, unless you are doing
something for them. They use the weakness of others for their pleasure.. Anyway, Just Ignore, keep Ignoring and hand them over
to God.
Talk to you in my next post, be you, be safe, be kind, stay blessed and remain humble.
FINAL WORD!
Some people will only love you as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stops…Selfish people cannot understand what compromising is in a relationship/friendship; neither will they ever see why it’s necessary. If you are selfish in your relation/friendship what do you gain, change before it’s too late, don’t always be a taker try being a giver as well in all areas.
QOTD ‘It’s time to stop giving your all to people
who don’t put you at the top of their list’
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A great post.. thanks for sharing.
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great post. I do agree with u. Seriously I always ignore this kind of people around me.
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I use to have this problem more when I was younger, but over time I have learned to weed people out who are too much a source of stress. I live by the 3 strikes your out. The fist time someone does something I do not like I chalk it up to just a one off. If they do it twice i take notice but write it off as a coincidence . It it happens a third time, thats a pattern and will continue to happen, then I'm out.
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Love this cool cardigan! I agree with your tips. Most of the time, people don't accept others for who they are.
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These are great tips for dealing with toxic people! As someone who has a toxic family member, it can be really hard to understand that people like this are not going to change or become easier to deal with. Thank you for sharing!
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Very post, people interest people his mony. My gerlfrends has a father who only thinks about himself so I know the topic well
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Such an important topic to talk about - loved it!
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Well said! I've dealt with rude and selfish people all of my life, however, now, I don't have many friends so it doesn't affect me too much. I guess because I don't take comments from people who aren't my friends personally, it doesn't sting as much.
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What a lovely read, and I couldn't agree more. These people are toxic, and you don't need them in your life. And yes, don't take them personally. It's not you, it's them. ha!
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Dealing with negative and selfish people uses up so much energy you could have used to do things you enjoy! Great tips and stay positive, keep on giving, but avoid people who only take!
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This is a wonderful post! I agree on #1, accept for who they are. But in my case, after accepting them, I cut them off my life XD
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Interesting post dear!When I spend a lot of time with a selfish person for a long time, I usually say that I do not like her-his selfishness. Usually a person changes but it does not happen quickly.
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Good tips. It can be difficult to respond to.
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such a great post, well written. I always had hard time with the DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY, I am still working on it lol
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Totally agree with you! Of course, we always should try to understand why some people are like they are, but it's important to stop giving time to those who don't deserve it!
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I really needed to read this post - I love especially no 4 - take breaks from the person. That's the best advice ever.
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