TSF SPEAKS || HOW TO DEAL WITH SELFISH/INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

I’ve always wanted to talk about this topic ever since I started blogging but always suspended it for some reason, now I feel it’s the right time to talk about it. First, being self-fish doesn’t mean not giving and all but has a lot to do with mannerism, the way you speak to/about others, your attitude, character, sense of giving and understanding. We all have someone selfish in our life which shall be unnamed but they are there. I know you are sitting thinking who isn’t selfish because we are all selfish but to be rational some people just have the tendency of making everything about them all the time trust me. First, how do you identify a selfish person in your life, selfish people don’t give into consideration about the other person needs.
They are callous people and have no respect whatsoever for the investment you put in the relationship. They are takers and never givers, they take and take from you, they are always there when they need you but the time you decide you need their help or need them they are MIA or claiming they have problems of their own. They expect you to be around when they are facing problems, heartbreak but when you need them during important time of your life they are literally nowhere to be found or off doing their thing.. Need I say more, these people can’t invest into the relationship money wise, advice wise, company wise they are just floating people, floating to where they need something and bouncing back when they get it.
How do you deal with people like these, someone said to just cut them off or give them a dose of their own medicine, you can do that but for me I sincerely do not have that time. I hand you over to God and let Him do the punishment. When you are matured you need to strategize how to deal with them because in some case you might be dealing with a narcissist.

1.   
ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE AND UNDERSTAND THEY HAVE NO REGARDS FOR OTHERS
:
Accept that they are self-centered and no matter what they will never put you into consideration or put you first, no matter what you do for them. No matter the relationships you have with them just realise they have no regards for your feelings or welfare. They may have moments of generosity but I noticed that is only when they feel guilty of the love you’ve shown to them, so they try to smartly give in the little way they can but that’s just a trick on you to feel they care, but to be real they simply lack the skill and willingness to be thoughtful.. Accepting who they really are gives you peace of mind not to ever expect anything from them and to become less annoyed by their greedy attitude. 

2.    STOP DOING FAVOURS FOR THEM THE MOMENT YOU FEEL DRAINED
Trust me, I’ve been there and I’m talking out of experience. Just stop doing favors for them once you feel like a doormat or especially when it ends up hurting you instead of you feeling exhilarating, if you continue doing more favors thinking you are doing good for the world then get ready to hurt yourself, I understand you want to be tolerant but you can’t let them keep walking all over you, take your stand .Take a break if you can’t stop doing favors for them I’d suggest you shift the favor you do for them and do it for someone else entirely, a stranger or someone who really need it. Remind yourself you are doing yourself a favor, mental health is everything, because these kind of people always have a me-me attitude nothing you do for them ever seems to please them.


3.    
PUT THEM IN THEIR SHOES
If you know me personally, then you’d definitely know I like putting people in their shoes when they exude a nasty, selfish behavior. Sometimes these people don’t realise what they are really doing so it’s healthy to put them straight, notice when it’s the right time to speak to them and by doing so politely make them understand how they’d feel if what they do to others is done unto them. Sometimes they need a reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around them. After setting them straight, politely of course and they make no effort to change or feel remorse, take a huge step back, limit the time you spend with them. He or she might be more than a self-centered person, they might be a narcissist. These people are harder to deal with. Just let it go, or if possible cut everything off for your delicate self.

4.    TAKE BREAKS FROM THIS PERSON/S WHEN NEED BE
If you’ve given them too many chances and they still choose being selfish, just know that any more of your efforts could be wasted. What do you do, protect your energy, happiness and mental state by taking a break from this person, they won’t understand but it’s necessary for you. Life is indeed short to be dragged down by selfish people that suck your peace, joy and happiness.

5.    DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
This is what I always tell myself all the time, sometimes these people are battling with them self, hate themselves or who knows that can be a way they function in life and don't see anything wrong with, their coping mechanism i assume. They only see other people’s fault but are blind towards theirs. Remember selfish people don’t care about you, unless you are doing something for them. They use the weakness of others for their pleasure.. Anyway, Just Ignore, keep Ignoring and hand them over to God.
Talk to you in my next post, be you, be safe, be kind, stay blessed and remain humble.
FINAL WORD!
Some people will only love you as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stops…Selfish people cannot understand what compromising is in a relationship/friendship; neither will they ever see why it’s necessary. If you are selfish in your relation/friendship what do you gain, change before it’s too late, don’t always be a taker try being a giver as well in all areas. 

QOTD   ‘It’s time to stop giving your all to people who don’t put you at the top of their list

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109 comments

  1. Great text with wise words! Congrats ❤

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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  2. Hello, thanks for the information. Have a nice day
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  3. чудесный пост

    https://evgenijamir.blogspot.com/

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  4. A great post.. thanks for sharing.
    It's always difficult having such people in our lives.

    http://www.henatayeb.blogspot.com

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  5. great post. I do agree with u. Seriously I always ignore this kind of people around me.

    torichux3.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's really my coping mechanism as well. Thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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  6. I use to have this problem more when I was younger, but over time I have learned to weed people out who are too much a source of stress. I live by the 3 strikes your out. The fist time someone does something I do not like I chalk it up to just a one off. If they do it twice i take notice but write it off as a coincidence . It it happens a third time, thats a pattern and will continue to happen, then I'm out.

    Allie of ALLIENYC
    www.allienyc.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Omg this is so me, weeding them out is the best afer like three strikes, because it's like they know what they are doing and don't care. Thanks for your comment and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  7. What a beautiful outfit and scenary!
    Also, i am so agree with you, hte ebst isignore them
    Gros bisous

    http://www.gallech.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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  8. Love this cool cardigan! I agree with your tips. Most of the time, people don't accept others for who they are.

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True Katherine, thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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  9. Hey dear!
    Wise words, just love the post! <3

    pimentamaisdoce.blogspot.pt

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  10. These are great tips for dealing with toxic people! As someone who has a toxic family member, it can be really hard to understand that people like this are not going to change or become easier to deal with. Thank you for sharing!
    http://www.lambassadrice.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the hard part, when you realise they are not going to change but you can avoid them for your mental state. My pleasure dear and thanks fr stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  11. Very post, people interest people his mony. My gerlfrends has a father who only thinks about himself so I know the topic well

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  12. Interesting post! I like your blog!

    https://julesonthemoon.blogspot.it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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  13. Such an important topic to talk about - loved it!
    xx jen
    http://lilthoughtswithjen.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  14. Hey, lovely blog!
    Wanna follow each other??

    Blog: http://missunderstoodstyle.blogspot.com/
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    Waiting for you darling!!
    xxx

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  15. Love your tips! Thanks for sharing =)
    -mainou
    http://www.looksbymc.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My pleasure and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  16. Well said! I've dealt with rude and selfish people all of my life, however, now, I don't have many friends so it doesn't affect me too much. I guess because I don't take comments from people who aren't my friends personally, it doesn't sting as much.

    Nicole | www.nicolegramcko.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too dear, but it's beat to have very few friends with quality and they respect you than a lot of friends who disrespect you or are being selfish like I mentioned. Thanks for stopping by dear.

      xx

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  17. You went all out in this post and hit every nail on the head, amazing read Bernie!!

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    Replies
    1. I did dear, thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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  18. Thanks a lot :D

    you look totally awesome :D

    NEW DECOR POST | LET YOUR HOME SMELL GOOD! <3
    InstagramFacebook Official PageMiguel Gouveia / Blog Pieces Of Me :D

    ReplyDelete
  19. What a lovely read, and I couldn't agree more. These people are toxic, and you don't need them in your life. And yes, don't take them personally. It's not you, it's them. ha!

    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

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    Replies
    1. So true Jessica, thanks for stopping by dear.

      xx

      Delete
  20. Dealing with negative and selfish people uses up so much energy you could have used to do things you enjoy! Great tips and stay positive, keep on giving, but avoid people who only take!

    Marije | thegfguide.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree with you, thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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  21. Beautiful post, wonderful tips:)
    kisses;*

    http://irreplaceable-fashion.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  22. This is a wonderful post! I agree on #1, accept for who they are. But in my case, after accepting them, I cut them off my life XD

    xx Alyssa | STYLE VANITY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, so me and I couldn't agree more. Thanks for stopping by dear.

      xx

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  23. I couldn't agree any more hun! Interesting topic and great thoughts!
    Kisses, Paola.

    Expressyourself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  24. Interesting post dear!When I spend a lot of time with a selfish person for a long time, I usually say that I do not like her-his selfishness. Usually a person changes but it does not happen quickly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes they don't change Alice, it's who they are. Thanks for stopping by dear.

      xx

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  25. Good tips. It can be difficult to respond to.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, thanks for stopping by dear.

      xx

      Delete
  26. such a great post, well written. I always had hard time with the DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY, I am still working on it lol
    Sonia
    www.soniaaicha.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha sometimes it's best not to take it personally other wise you let them win. Even though it's easier said than done. Thanks for stopping by dear.

      xx

      Delete
  27. You are lucky to have good people in your life. Bless you with it. I like the color of the pants and styling too dear...:)

    http://www.colossalcloset.in/hey-veronica-surrender-whimsy/

    ReplyDelete
  28. those are great advices. hopefully you'll handle all those selfish inconsiderate people with grace and poise :)

    <3
    The Sweetest Escape

    ReplyDelete
  29. Totally agree with you! Of course, we always should try to understand why some people are like they are, but it's important to stop giving time to those who don't deserve it!
    xx Elisa
    Francine's Place | DIY & Lifestyle Blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said dear, totally agree. Thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  30. Great tips!
    ~Samantha
    http://goldcoastgirlblog.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  31. Great job dear, nice post ! :) xx

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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  33. Wise words and very helpful tips. I've met some people like this in my life
    and I came to realize they were not worth my time!
    Have a nice day :)

    http://lalabetterdayz.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly dear, we can't keep wasting out time with selfish people. Thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  34. Hello,

    So lovely !

    Sarah,http://www.sarahmodeee.fr/

    ReplyDelete
  35. wow its awesome..!! beautifull outfit & love this combination..

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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  36. beautiful and cool post!

    thanks for sharing!!!

    http://www.itzytrendy.com/2018/03/rebel-with-cause.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete

  37. Hi! lovely blog:D If you want to follow each other blogs please come to my blog and tell me, ill follow you instantly!
    https://leerenlaluna.blogspot.com.es

    ReplyDelete
  38. Girlllll you speaking my language right here. Been there and done that!! I've had it with people like that so I told myself last year that no more. Great pointers here for sure. Agreed!

    https://www.missymayification.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you can relate Missy May, no more for me as well. Thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  39. I really needed to read this post - I love especially no 4 - take breaks from the person. That's the best advice ever.

    www.pink-purpledots.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you found it useful. Thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  40. Great post dear!

    http://iameleine.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  41. Very useful and beneficial tips, thank you! Beautiful pictures too!!
    Have a lovely weekend :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you found it useful. Thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  42. Great post! Photos are amazing! :)
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  43. Replies
    1. Thank you dear, I'm glad you found it useful.

      xx

      Delete
  44. You said the right! I´m tired with that people honestly

    http://caritrini.blogspot.com.es

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  45. wide words babe! I'm glad you finally decided to speak on this topic!

    www.prettyinleather.net

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad I did, thanks for stopping by dear.

      xx

      Delete
  46. Hi dear, I really like the tips you shared. Such people can at times prove so hard to deal with and dull someone's day. Great post!

    www.glamourzone.org

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true I'm glad you can relate. Thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  47. I can't stand inconsiderate people I simply stay away. Nice tips here. Love this post. xoxo Cris
    http://photosbycris.blogspot.com.au/2018/03/gamiss-show-stopper-outfit-in-carrara.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I do, Ignore them. Thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  48. Love the look and the post! It's hard dealing with takers...

    Kathrin | Polar Bear Style

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true, thanks for stopping by dear.

      xx

      Delete
  49. You look so beautiful! Love this post!

    Mihaailo | mihaailo.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  50. Wonderful words. I mostly agree with you.
    Great outfits too!
    Have a lovely weekend. *_*

    Kathy's delight

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear, do have a great week ahead.

      xx

      Delete
  51. Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

      Delete
  52. Great post <3 *_*

    http://makeyourperfectstyle.blogspot.ba/

    ReplyDelete
  53. Gorgeous post dear, I really like It! :)
    Have an amazing Sunday! xoxo
    I follow your lovely blog, so hope you can follow back mine :)

    Spring outfits inspired by Disney princesses

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    Replies
    1. Thank you dear and thanks for stopping by.

      xx

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